You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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