the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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