I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize