So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
