I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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