Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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