Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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