Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
