I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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