I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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