We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
