she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
