sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
