i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
