Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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