I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I didn't notice because vodka
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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