i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
