i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
