my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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