I just made out with a guy for $7.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
