I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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