That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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