three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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