Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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