Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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