Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
