Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
