So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
