I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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