in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
