You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize