Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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