HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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