I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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