Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She needs sedatives and a leash
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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