He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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