I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
