no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
