i think my mom watched the whole time
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
