can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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