She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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