Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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