everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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