you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
