Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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