There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
