That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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