lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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