just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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