smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
