I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
When did angry sex become our thing?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
