she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
