i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize