Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize