5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
