The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
