I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
