he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
