You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
