Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
