I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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