dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
