I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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