some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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