She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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