420 ftw
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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