she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
