and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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